Time flies when you are having fun. And I am... :)
|Little Miss Ady loves her cucumbers!|
I always imagined myself to be a working mom, one who has her dream job, picks up her kids from daycare each night, just in time to turn into Super Mom, who, even though she works long, hard hours, still has time to do everything for her children.
I am not sure why I saw my life going in that direction. For a large part of my childhood, my mom was at home with me. Maybe because it was just assumed by others that I would do this?
|Just hangin' out.|
Everyone has their own perspective of how to raise a child, and to each their own. I just know how I feel about my own child, and how I want her to grow up.
I know that I don't want Adalyn in a daycare. Yes, it is great for her to socialize with other children, but she already does this. In a daycare, she will be just another kid, possibly one that does not get hugs and kisses or songs that are sung just for her.
There is the option of a smaller home-based daycare. Here, she would probably have less children to compete against for attention.
But, even in a home daycare, there are worries. Does she get snuggled? Does the care provider yell or hit? Will she cry herself to sleep each nap time? How long would it be before I found out? Would finishing school have been worth this?
Adalyn is very lucky that she has two wonderful grandmothers that will be taking turns watching her throughout the week. I feel very blessed in knowing this. Even still, I continue to ask myself, 'Will completing my internship be worth missing Adalyn's first steps? Her first words? What happens if each day she cries, because she just wants to spend time with Mommy?'
Some people might find this to be ridiculous. It is a child, they will get over it. It's time to cut the cord. So many parents leave their children with a daycare every day, and they are just fine.
...Well, yes, but look at how so many of them are turning out these days...
|One of the best parts of the day is seeing what sort of imprint Adalyn's blanket has left on her face. Hehe...|
On the other hand, I tell myself. 15 weeks is a long time for a baby. A lot of development happens within this time. A lot that I will probably miss out on. I don't even plan to use my degree for quite some time after I graduate, if at all, so is it even worth going back now?
I also hate the stigma that goes along with being at home with a child. People look at you like you are lazy and watch soap operas all day. I always cringe and feel like I need to lie when I get asked if I get "bored" while I am at home with Adalyn.
|Fun in the sun. :)|
I am not isolated to just her. Yes, we have alone time, but we are pretty busy during the week. No, it is not the same as working in an office, but we ago to parents' groups, go shopping, visit grandparents, hang out with other babies and mommies, etc. I even have time to enjoy long walks with her or go for a run.
I hate having to defend something that seems so natural to me; Something that I truly enjoy.
Ugh. I just don't know what to do.